The dinner time juggle

Story by Rita Feutl
Photography by Martin Lipman

Got a few picky eaters in your household?  Here's a few tips to keep everyone (including you) healthy and happy.

Call it the late-afternoon nightmare—that dreaded post-work twilight hour when you’re trying to find something— anything—to feed your family. Not only does it have to suit your youngest, recently nominated for the pickiest-eater-in-the-neighbourhood award, but it also has to meet the needs of your teenager, a newly declared vegetarian.

Meanwhile, your meat-and-potatoes hubby grumbles if he doesn’t find a decent slice of heavy-duty protein on his plate. And naturally, you have to shovel this elusive meal into them before you’re all off to hockey practice/gymnastics/piano…It’s a wonder most women—and let’s face it, most family meal-makers are female—don’t run screaming in the other direction.

“This is a situation that many families unwittingly find themselves in, and it can be quite frustrating,” says Heidi Bates, a Sherwood Park dietician and nutrition instructor at the Northern Alberta Institute of Technology.

“It really takes away the fun of mealtimes.” But is it possible to put back the fun? Can you feed a family with different dietary desires without becoming a short-order cook or flinging fast food at them seven days a week? You bet, says Sandi Richard, the Cochrane author of Life’s on Fire: Cooking for the Rushed and Cooking for the Rushed: The Healthy Family.

“We need to do it gradually,” warns Richard, whose new show about feeding diet-dysfunctional families will appear on Food Network Canada in September. To start, let’s look at how to deal with the different demands in a family:

The picky eater

Picky eaters are usually pre-schoolers who are trying to assert their independence, says Bates, the mother of children aged two and six. “Parents always need to remember that ultimately they, not the child, are responsible for what’s served. But kids decide whether they’ll eat.”

Offer small servings so youngsters aren’t overwhelmed. “They can always ask for more,” says Bates. Remember that kids won’t starve before the next meal. “One thing parents really need

to ask themselves is, what is their child eating between meals,” says Ruth West, a registered dietician at the Grey Nuns Community Hospital in Edmonton. “I commonly see kids constantly sipping on juice and Kool-Aid, instead of having a specific snack and being done with it. If youngsters fill up on sugared water during the day, they won’t be interested in green beans and potatoes at suppertime.”

Richard believes that picky eaters are created by the vast range of over-processed foods available to them. “Get it out of the house,” she says. “If you make the real fun, gunky, sweet stuff, loaded with fat, sugar and salt available, of course they’ll pick that. They’re human. And anybody in their right mind is going to pick chocolate over peas.”

Once you’ve pitched out the processed food, stock up on pre-cut veggies (good for snacks) and pre-sliced meats instead, and stop worrying that they cost more than regular produce or meat, says Richard. “How did we ever buy into this plan that it’s OK to buy pre-packed junk food, but we feel guilty when we let someone else wash and chop our vegetables or cut our meat?”

Offer a couple of reasonable choices at a meal, including one or two you know everyone will like, says Bates. “But beyond that, if the food is nutritious and prepared in a form the child can take, you say, ‘Well, this is what you’re having,’ and be consistent.” Being a good parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world, says Richard. “But don’t ever feel guilty when you show the will-power to resist buying something you know in your heart is not a healthy choice.”

Tips for feeding the picky eater

•    Some kids prefer raw vegetables to cooked ones; keep a few broccoli or carrot spears out of the steamer for them.

•    “Put fruit out on the supper table,” suggests West. “It’s a healthy food.”

•    When youngsters come begging for a snack, ask if they need a hungry snack or a thirsty snack, says Heidi Bates. This helps them get in tune with their body’s requirements.

•    Teach them to drink water if they’re thirsty.

•    Be a healthy role model and enjoy a variety of different foods.

The vegetarian

Teenaged girls often introduce the idea of meatless meals into families, says West, whose own two daughters are practising vegetarians. A common misconception among teens is that one can be a vegetarian by simply not eating the meat portion of the meal. “But that’s not the solution,” notes West, “because where is she getting her protein?”

It also leads to unhealthy eating patterns, says Richard. To curb the increase in teenage obesity and diabetes, we need to show our kids that vegetarian eating is more than slathering French fries with ketchup every day. Young vegetarians also need to eat a wider variety of fruits and vegetables, says Richard, who meets a lot of teenagers during her book tours. “I say, ‘OK, you’re a vegetarian; what vegetables do you eat?’ and they say, ‘Well, I don’t really like vegetables.’ Then I ask, ‘Are you getting your beans and lentils and legumes?’ and there’s a long yuuuck sound! We have a culture of children who can’t even get in three vegetables a day, let alone the required 5 to 10.”

If your youngster is planning to go meatless, tell her it means researching appropriate substitutes, finding suitable recipes and preparing those particular dishes. “Teens need to commit to taking a really active role in preparing vegetarian dishes,” says Bates. But if young vegetarians are serious about their choices and responsibilities, you must honour their decisions, she says. Besides, there’s a bonus in it for you. “If they make a lifelong commitment to vegetarian eating, they need those skills, and it also takes some of that extra workload off the main meal preparer,” says Bates.

Tips for the vegetarian

•    Fling a handful of chickpeas or red kidney beans into a mixed salad for easy protein.

•    It takes no effort to toss a veggie burger or salmon steak on the grill during a beef barbecue.

•     Negotiate a couple of meatless meals per week for the whole family; think three-cheese lasagnes or tacos with refried beans.

The mandatory meat man

Generations of Canadians have been trained to expect a piece of meat to anchor their dinner plates. For many men it’s the high-protein pay-off for a full day’s work. But Canadians often over-estimate the amount of protein they need.

“Adults only need two to three servings a day,” says Bates. “In Canada, it’s not unusual to have two to three servings at one meal.” One serving, she says, is similar in size to a deck of cards. While Dad may be happiest with an extra pork chop on his plate, he should consider the occasional meatless meal. Those who insist on meat and potatoes every night may be making the issue at mealtime one of control rather than nourishment, says West.

Less adventurous eaters need “to get with the program and realize that sometimes we are going to have something that’s just a little bit different,” says Bates. As for those adults ready to turn up their noses at a new dish, Bates has this to say: “If anyone in the family wants to give commentary on what’s being served, then they also need to step up to the plate and make the next meal.”

OK, now what?

So let’s say you’ve sorted out what everyone in your family wants to eat. Now what? Get them to write it down in a weekly schedule so you can get the grocery shopping done ahead of time, says Richard. That way you can head home after work calmly. No more late-afternoon nightmares.

“All families have the same problems. Over

85 per cent of North Americans have no idea of what they’re having for supper until supper,” she says. Richard advocates that each meal have three components: a protein, a grain and, most importantly, a vegetable. If your picky eater gets to choose chicken and pasta one night, he’ll be more likely to buy into your suggestion of beef stir-fry the next night.

“Most important is to make sure the family

is participating in choosing the meals,” says Richard. “If you can get that to happen at low-stress times—not when you’re running out for groceries—it takes a lot of pressure off the shopper or the cook.”  •